Living Water

Earlier this year in kindergarten, we learned that Jesus gives our spirits living water to drink.  Looking at the two vases of flowers on the table today,  we were able to review that lesson. In one vase, the water level had visibly decreased by at least 3 inches, and flowers were still fresh and beautiful.  The water level in the other vase had barely gone down, and the flowers were droopy and wilted.  As I was pointing this out to my 5 year old, I realized that the lesson I was teaching was as much for me as for my daugher.

Finishing up the fast, I felt like the first vase.  I was leaning heavy onto God, filling pages in my journal with notes and prayers.  I was drinking deeply of His Word, and He was meeting me there with verses that answered questions and confirmed His plans for us.  For the first time I was successfully tearing down the idols of food and the emotional crutches that were keeping me away from God.  Prayer was feeling more powerful.  My energy levels were up, and I was sleeping well.  I was feeling joy and peace as I went through my days.  On Sunday morning, I really had no desire to return to my old eating patterns again, though I did begin to introduce some things back in meals at church and a celebratory dinner with my family.

Fast forward to today.  This afternoon I was feeling like the second vase of flowers, which had been absolutely beautiful and crisp on Sunday, but which were wilting at an alarming rate.  And I realized that in leaving the fast, I had begun to leave God behind, too.  Instead of several pages of journal and prayer leaning into God a day, I'd only done a couple pages all week. Trying to lean on my own strength led me to several "not beneficial" food choices this week, which quickly sapped my energy and probably contributed to the congestion I'm feeling.  One choice started to lead to another, and I began listening to some of the lies again.  Feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, I found myself staring at a shelf in the cupboard looking for something to lift me out of it. 

But I know where to turn.  I know to reach out and ask for prayer to get back into God's living water, to remember that the Holy Spirit's nourishing guidance is in me.  I am making the choice to pour out the liquid "counterfeit strength" of sugar and caffeine, and replace it with God's living water.  This consecration must be a daily choice, a daily setting myself apart for Him and His work, of remembering that as a believer, He already lives within me and if I let Him, can carry me through the hard choices.  It is not something that *I* must do on my own, in fact, can't do on my own.  It is remembering that there is an enemy quick to feed lies and happy to see me believing that my sin can't be conquered.  It is keeping my eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.  It is letting His strength flow through me.