Giving up self to find Him

I'm halfway through this 21 day Daniel Fast, a point I really wasn't sure that I would be able to make.  It's definitely not by my own effort.  In the last few years I've barely been able to make it through one day of restricting my eating, much less this many.  God has met me in the hard places, and as a result of leaning into Him, here I am at Day 11.

A quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer that I read today at A Holy Experience really expresses well what I've been  starting to learn in this past week and a half:

Self-denial means knowing only Christ and no longer oneself.  It means seeing only Christ, who goes ahead of us, and no longer the path that is too difficult for us.  Again, self-denial is saying only: He goes ahead of us, hold fast to Him.

I'm learning that maybe I was the one holding me back in terms of food.  Maybe I wasn't ready to let go of my hold on what I ate.  Maybe I bought into the lie that it's really not possible to eat healthy when others in the family aren't fond of these foods.  As food becomes less of an idol, God becomes more in focus.

I'm learning that God has a way of multiplying.  Meals that fit the Daniel Fast that normally would last one meal are lasting for two, those for two meals are stretching to four.  Not coincidentally, my New Testament reading on some of these days covered the feeding of the four and five thousand.

I'm learning that I've never really tried to lean into God to avoid the temptation.  When I do, He meets me there and gives me the strength to make it through.  He satisfies in a way that giving in to the temptation doesn't.  Prayer is becoming more of a constant companion.

I'm learning joy in serving others when I make my family's favorite meals (that aren't part of my fasting foods) and don't begrudge them for eating them when I am not.  Not everything I do needs to be about me and my desires, or benefit me directly.

I'm learning that to make limited choices seem bountiful, taking even those limited choices away for a spell works.  God has led me to spend a couple of these days fasting with only water for breakfast and lunch, spending the mealtimes in focused prayer for others.  After those days, fruits, veggies, and whole grains taste remarkably satisfying!

I'm learning that God really is enough.