100 posts later . . .

Today marks 2 years.  Two years since life was given a whole new perspective, Abigail-colored glasses, so to speak.  Two years ago I found myself starting a blog.

A year ago, a year felt like an incredibly long time in some respects.  A year ago, I was blessed to discover little Abigail reminders waiting for me first thing in the morning.  A year ago, I found myself looking back. 

And today I see that this is the 100th post on this blog. One hundred posts that have led me bit by bit, step by step to who I am today.  Two years closer to seeing what God has in store for Abigail.  Life is beginning to look a little different, but still so much the same. 

Long term faith is a tricky thing.  It's so easy to try to fit God's plan into our timing and then get frustrated and disappointed and doubt when it doesn't happen.  It's tempting to try to take things into our own hands and act on what we think the plan might be.  It's a short step to judging things solely from what we can see and decide that nothing is happening or that we heard God wrong or that He has changed His mind.  It's not a long slide into making the fulfillment of the promise an idol that surpasses the importance of the Giver of the promise.

I go back frequently to the question ~ what if I misunderstood?  Would my journey over these past years be all for nothing?  So far, I can say that it would still be worth it.  I wouldn't want to trade the changes that I have seen God make in me, and in my husband.  God has opened the doors to new aspects of our callings.  It is no longer just about Abigail, but about God's bigger plan to use our family.  He has knit together my life with those of many others through this journey, and our friendships have moved to a deeper level that is centered on what God is doing in our lives.  He has opened our eyes to the way He is working outside of our little family or church. 

I have to be honest .  . . there is a part of me that would just love some confirmation on this 2nd "Abi-versary".  A special verse, or sign of some sort, to reassure me that I didn't misunderstand.  And as I go through my day, I've got an eye and ear tuned to notice if there is.  But if there isn't .  . . it's ok.  God doesn't change just because I can't see things from His perspective.  Even when I can't understand why things are or aren't happening in a certain way, He is still on His throne and working all things for good.

Keep tuned .  . . when the timing is right, our next Abigail steps will be shown.  And until then, we keep putting pieces into place.  Sometimes they feel like they may be from a different puzzle, but in the end, I have a feeling they will have been part of her picture the whole time. 

And maybe one day we'll find ourselves saying, "Abby girl, God knew you before you were born, and He told us about you.  You grew in our hearts long before you began to grow inside the womb.  He has a plan for you, such a big plan that it needed more than just our family to be praying for you. He loves you so very much, Abigail, and so do we."