Fear of the Lord

 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.   Proverbs 9:10

In this past week, I have been struck by a new respect for God's power and the way that the Holy Spirit can bring about change in a person's life.  Simply put, the changes that I see beginning to happen in my husband are not of his own making.  They don't fit the patterns that he's become comfortably accustomed to over the years, and aren't something that he's been actively seeking.  He describes with a sense of awe and wonder that his thoughts are changing in many areas, often in ways that he hasn't expected.  But at the same time, he finds a certain peace with them, even when they are a bit scary in their newness and distance outside his comfort zone. 

I'll be honest ~ it's a bit scary!  Because this whole journey isn't something that is happening because we thought it would be a good idea, or because we decided to try to become ultra-spiritual by following some checklist of things to do and not do, or because we wanted another child.  It's not from within.  Back when 2011 began, neither one of us had any clue that by the time the year wrapped up we would be viewing life from a much different perspective, with a greater purpose than our own.

The changes happening make me realize that if all of this truly is God's plan, we really aren't in control.  It's a lesson that I've had to learn over and over, and am still learning daily.  I AM NOT THE ONE IN CONTROL (no matter how much I sometimes think that I am or try to be).  And that's a good thing.  Because what I would choose for my life is so much smaller, so much more bound by what I can see at this moment.  My plan would play it safe, and would result in missing out on so many blessings.  God's plan takes into account things that I have no way of seeing or knowing about now.  His plan is so much bigger than just a comfortable life with my own family. 

And I can't help but wonder, living in a time when choice of religion is considered something that we can pick up or put down as easily as changing our shoes, how much we misunderstand about the power of God.  If we believe that one week we can choose to follow Jesus, and then the next change our minds and follow a different path, then decide to follow none,  what does that say about what we believe in an inherent power in any higher being?  How much do we miss by trying to confine God to a box of our own making?

There's the temptation to treat God much like we do a bottle of vitamins, turning there when we feel weak and need a dose of something more, but if we forget them Him, well, we wonder how much good does it actually do anyway? Aren't we doing pretty well on our own?   I've certainly been guilty of that for far too much of my life. 

My Bible reading the other day included words from Hebrews that stood out as I read them.   Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts  . . . (from Hebrews 3:7 & Hebrews 4:7)  Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking.  For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven!  (Hebrews 12:25)

Lord, that I might always have an appropriate awe and respect for Your power and might, and never doubt that you are capable of so much more than my limited mind can wrap itself around.  Help me to listen when You speak, and more importantly, act on that.  Amen.